To note the strange things people do in public lets discuss what I witnessed last Sunday. A guy taking a shit in the middle of a park off of SW Roxbury St. (a relatively main road). To be more precise I believe the he may have been shitting into the pond located within the park. Before I continue let me say this, I've had my fair share of public pees. I spent a good chuck of my early 20's living in Chicago so believe me I've peed in a many alleys. But pooping is on a whole other level. It's poop. It smells. It's messy. Toilet paper is almost always required. Pee just isn't that complicated.
My boyfriend was driving us back from Portland Sunday morning. We had to stop off and get the pup (Elvis, who was at a dog sitters house for the night (yes I realize how ridiculous dog sitters/doggie day care/dog walkers are. But I also realize how incredibly necessary they are)). At 11 am we are about a mile from the sitters house when my boyfriend points across me at some dude in a park. "What's he doing?"
As our car zooms past, I turn around to get a great view of the side of this mans ass as he pulls down his pants and begins to squat. In plain view of the road. He didn't squat behind the many bushes that the park provided. No, he decided to take a squat right in plain view. No shame what so ever. Why was this man doing this? Did he have to go that bad? Was this where he like to take his morning poop? Did he on some level get off on this. A poop exhibitionist? This got me thinking about how many people might poop in public but more importantly, why.
The "I had an emergency and had no other choice" Pooper- Florida has many examples of this. Not for the obvious reason (old people) you would think Florida would be in the news for public pooping. Here are some great examples. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/23/michael-johnston-arrested_n_3140465.html
The "I totally get off on this (either mentally or sexually)" Pooper- According to Merriam-webster.com the correct term for using feces for sexual excitement is Coprophilia. Rest assure, there is no shortage of this. Sites such as realfetishtube.com, and shitfetish.net cater to those looking to get their fix.
The "take that you jerk" Pooper- Like this man, who was accused of taking a shit in his neighbors yard for 20 years. Yes, 20 years. Yes of course the neighbor was a former police officer. How else would this story make any sense? The offender claimed that during the 2 mile marker of his morning run he had no other choice but to take a dump in the neighbors yard. After many messy clean ups by the neighbor, free passes from the police, the neighbor finally installed a camera which recorded the man not running but driving up to his house and pushing one out. The man was charged not with public indecency, but with public dumping of under 100 pounds (a misdemeanor). Literally public dumping. (Check out the name of the lacrosse team he coaches.)
Enjoy your lunch!
